"There is one particularly powerful influence on women’s lives which is often overlooked or suppressed in the worlds of business, fulfillment and success - the menstrual cycle. Forever regarded as a negative influence on our lives it is in actual fact a powerful tool that we can productively use to create happiness and fulfillment in all areas of our lives" - Miranda Gray
It has occurred to me that many of us women have been forcing things into reality in a very masculine and linear manner – one that isn’t utilizing our own gifts and innate nature. Repeating this process ongoingly has sucked the joy out of ‘creating’ the lives that we deeply long for. Impacting our work, our relationships, and our health!
Many of us feel like our ‘inconsistencies’ in relation to our menstrual cycle are somewhat of a hazard, a preset ‘default mode’ to be resisted and altered at all cost, in order to better fit into the current ways of the world.
Naturally, we need to function adequately in our environment, not only to ‘get by’ but to thrive!
But what if we aren’t using the best of our given abilities to do so?
How can we then live fulfilling lives, feel like our best selves, and serve others if we aren’t even aware of our feminine genius?
Yes, we can work and we can accomplish amazing things in this lifetime, but we simply cannot do it wearing our man pants! At least not in a deeply satisfying way.
In my case, this ‘feminine disconnect’ has resulted in disruption within my relationships and a constant gut feeling that something was off in my work, accompanied by tremendous anxiety and insecurity.
After building ‘success’ in my career, being in one long-term relationship after the other without allowing my femininity to be seen, and thinking of health as having that perfect body – I had found that I’d been doing things upside down. We women are called to BE more than we are to HAVE. We are called to become fountains of love simply by embodying and expressing our true nature. Although there are times when the use of our masculine honed energy comes to great use, aka when sh*t needs to get done, we cannot operate this way 24\7 and expect to lead a life that feels true to us.
Leaning into the feminine…
I cannot blink an eye and ignore what I’ve been seeing lately. Beautiful women who are drained, who are on the verge of a burnout, who are forcing things into the making (in a very masculine way) and who our tapped out of their innate wisdom and feminine gifts... all in the hopes of reaching success, love, and wellbeing.
I am no stranger to this process myself. I’ve pushed so hard, trying to fit into a mold that was never designed for me in the first place that leaning into my femininity has been a hugely awaited relief, to say the least.
Instead of imitating men to showcase our value as we’ve seen way too often, we need to express our true nature and find worth in that ourselves first and foremost. How can we expect men to understand and cherish us otherwise if we don’t do so ourselves?
In ‘The Optimized Woman’, author Miranda Gray speaks about our unique female abilities as opportunities and refers to our ‘Optimum Times’ as the specific skills and heightened abilities that we can utilize during given parts of our cycle to achieve success and fulfillment the feminine way.
Rather than focusing on achieving a consistent ‘average’ level, women have the ability to excel beyond expectations when they learn that they have a cycle of brilliance – she states.
Hint: we have a panoply of heightened abilities, yet forcing one into use when it is not its prime time creates chaos within and results in frustration, added stress, and disconnect. For example, when we find ourselves riding out our PMS phase, also referred to as our ‘creative’ phase, we experience heightened subconscious awareness which can create a lot of irritability, fear, and anxiety if we do not know how to channel what is coming forth and insist on operating in the same way than we do within other phases of our cycle. Surprisingly, our creative phase is one of the most potent ones but because we aren’t on the ‘go, go, go’, in full action mode, we get fooled into thinking that we aren’t being useful or ‘productive’. This phase is ideal to bring to the surface what is no longer in tune with you, to clear out the junk so to speak, and to listen to your intuitive hints so that when you are ready to take action, it is in the uttermost alignment with your entire being, allowing for smoother sailing during the other phases of your cycle which are more active.
I believe that masculinity is truly beautiful, however, we’ve seen by now that we women do not thrive by leading solely in a masculine way. Empowering women shouldn’t imply to become more ‘man-like’, there is nothing sexy about XXL shoulder-padded blazers and overly worked & distressed women!
So how do we create great success and wellbeing in our lives if it is not by doing it like our beloved men?
Ironically, a major setback in the ‘feminist movement’ has been to prove our worth by being more man-like, partly defying the purpose of the movement itself and opposing our feminine nature in so doing.
To become aware of our unique gifts, to welcome forth our true nature, to respect our needs and not to shame or suppress them is the beginning of embodying a well-rounded woman.
"When we adjust our thinking, look for our cyclic energies, and plan to meet our needs and best use our talents, something amazing happens –we create happiness and wellbeing. We find success, meet our work goals and live our life dreams." - Miranda Gray
Now this might be a whole new ballgame for many, I know it has been for me and I won’t lie, it brought many challenges and old and limiting beliefs to the surface, on top of feeling like I was going against the mainstream. But when you become aware of an old way that is no longer serving you, you have two choices, resist it by all means and keep pushing forward the way that isn’t working while accumulating even more unease into your world and body OR taking a leap in faith and discovering the wonders that the new way has to offer.
Beyond that, the freedom and bravely we experience when we stand in our truth is priceless!
If you feel drained and unfulfilled by the way you’ve been working your way to achieving your goals and dreams or relating to others, I cannot recommend Miranda Gray’s work enough. You can grab a copy of her book ’The Optimized Woman’ and learn how to create life-success the feminine way here!
LEARNING HOW TO EMBRACE MY FEMININE ESSENCE HAS BROUGHT FORTH A NEW PASSION AND CALLING IN MY LIFE. THE #VIBRANTYOU SERIES IS WHERE YOU CAN EXPECT TO UNCOVER THE TOOLS & THE WISDOM TO LEARN HOW TO EMBRACE YOUR CYCLICAL NATURE, TO WALK THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE THE FEMININE WAY, AND DISCOVER MORE JOY, EASE, AND WELLBEING ALONG THE WAY!